You are all Lovely (Day 30 of 31)

 To every woman and man, you are all born beautiful. It is not up to anyone else or anything else, to determine how beautiful you are. It doesn’t matter how many people do or don’t tell you that, because by simply living you are inherently perfect as you are. That being said, we are all capable of great ugliness, but it doesn’t come from our faces or our bodies, it leaks from a tainted heart, or a broken soul. Ugliness is not a proportion, it isn’t a number on the scale, it isn’t a flaw, it’s an act. It is an act upon act upon act of cruel intention.

If you have ever been laughed at, or ridiculed for your own appearance, know that it was the one pointing the finger that possessed more ugliness than words can describe. And if you have pointed a finger at someone and called them ugly, then send some love to that person in your mind, and compliment twice as many people on their inherent beauty.

Beauty is SO much more than an aesthetic.

I see beauty in brains and bronze and I see beauty in naivety and fragility. Beauty is in all of these traits and characteristics, because our differences that make us who we are, are what contributes to the immeasurable loveliness of Earth.

Some people fall under the right measurements and proportions based on a skewed scale of beauty that has been built over centuries. So it will take just as long to reverse this discourse until we are able to find the right path where all are seen as beautiful again. True beauty is unfathomable too many in this world. We are such a young species still and it will take a long time before we can all understand each others immeasurable beauty.

It takes work to change our automatic reactions, but if you can acknowledge your response as societal conditioning, then it is possible to reverse judgement.

   I wish for everyone concerned about their appearance to look at themselves with eyes closed and hearts open.

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Today is my last day of 31 days without an ounce of makeup and I am so proud of myself!!! I’d like to make one more post tomorrow on my overall experience, reflections, and what to look forward to next month!!!

Much Love

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Day 28 and 29 of 31

To every women that feels like giving up make up would be too much to handle, I am here to tell you if I can do it so can you. If you can’t do it for yourself then do it for the young girls that are looking up to you as they pass you by. Sure, it takes bravery and will power in the beginning, but it inspires the same traits in others and by that you have helped many as well as yourself.

Day 28 was another day spent outside in the sun.

I went to the East side of Vancouver to see a dear friend of mine. All I had to do was hop on a bus and although the route takes you through the rough ends of this city, I think it’s a good thing to wake up to. It isn’t just me who is brightened up by the change of weather around here. The people living it out on the streets everyday are more lively too. The everyone can’t help but smile because we’ve made it through the dreary rainy season.

Upon arriving my friend and I sat outside in the front lawn and enjoyed a couple glasses of fresh lemon & mint water. Then we teamed up with her big puppy and went for a lovely walk about on some nice trails nearby. The sound of the flowing water running through the creek was enough to feel like I had made it to a quite sanctuary tucked away from the hustle and bustle of the city.

After that, I met up with my partner for dinner on Commercial, where we changed our minds last minute to go to the Ethiopian restaurant we’ve returned to many times before. We shared a veggie platter for too and enjoyed the sweet taste of Honey mead wine.

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Yesterday was my 29th day of not wearing make up and I started it with a hearty breakfast of rice and japanese sweet potatoes and went for a wonderful bike ride through Stanley park and up towards third beach. I slipped my shoes off, laid out for awhile, and wrote in my journal. Then I enjoyed walking out on the rocks as it was low tide. I caught some great shots of the exposed rocks and tidal pools, then I packed up and rode the seawall home.

Last night I met up with my partner and we walked up to his sister’s place to celebrate her Champagne birthday. You know you’ve had a good time, when you lose track of the clock and that’s exactly what we did. It felt good to hang out with a group of great people and I really enjoyed myself. I was very conscious of the fact that after one drink my face reddens twice as much as it normally does, and my bare face did come to mind as all the other girls looked so utterly flawless, but I didn’t feel the need to cover up i just acknowledged those feelings and carried on.

Today is my second to last day foregoing habitual coverage and I feel like I have freed myself from my fears of not fitting in. I know I am different and I always will be, with or without it.

Much Love

Runaway to a cabin in the woods? Day 27 of 31

I wrote this yesterday, but wanted to wait until today to post because I like to reflect on the day as a whole instead of just stating the status quo.

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Coming down to the finish line! Happy Easter everyone! Today the sun is shining and it is amazing just how much that affects outlook on life. I am very grateful for these sun shiny days waking up to sunshine always sets me in a good mood.

I forgot that it was Easter Sunday so that haircut I spoke of yesterday is to be further delayed. Right now I am enjoying my time with my partner and cooking up some yummy food with japanese sweet potatoes and perfectly ripe avocados, its definitely my favourite go to meal on top of some basmati rice sprinkled with fresh cilantro.

-Later that day-

After breakfast my partner and I went for a long walk around downtown Vancouver. It was so sunny that as I squinted and tried to protect my eyes I cursed myself for not bringing sunglasses. My partner tells me that the sunglasses I currently own are equivalent to what someone would wear after having laser eye surgery, but they feel so good! I love my 10$ solar shields. We went into shoppers to look for some new pairs, but just ended up trying on every pair for laughs.

Following that, we headed to Vancouver’s public library, and after living in this city for five years I can’t believe how I have yet to take advantage of such an amazing resource. Not only is the library full of books beyond comprehension, there is also access to computers where I can use photoshop, download my photographs onto external hard drives, access to wifi, and a beautiful open quiet space with lots of light where I can escape to when the sounds of construction outside of my apartment get to be too much. My partner and I were most interested in seeing the new inspiration lab where there are plenty of sound booths you can record music and videos in, and it really IS inspiring!

We then trekked around for food and ended up walking all the way to a Mexican restaurant where the food was absolutely inedible and we were quite sure we’d get food poisoning if we even tried to finish our meals. La Castilla on Robson and Denman, wouldn’t recommend it. They did give us half our money back so that was nice.

We got home safely without any mishaps and luckily we didn’t end up getting as ill as we expected. 

SO yesterday I learned that I really need to get out and take advantage of the resources available in this city. I have been debating whether or not I should move back to the islands because for so long now I have felt out of place, but I think I was quick to judge the people around me. The truth is I just haven’t put in the effort every day to make it work for me. Instead I have just been isolating myself from the rest of the world. Now it’s time for me to give it all I’ve got and until I can say 100% I gave it my all, I can’t just give up and move away.

Sure this isn’t the environment I am meant to be in for the rest of my life. I am after all “Nature girl”. I dream about waking up in the morning and being able to step outside onto the grass and having morning walks in the forest. I dream of being able to have a dog that I can take hiking with me and on adventures. I dream of working with horses the way I use to. I dream of tending to my garden and eating healthy foods that I’ve created for myself and loved ones. I dream of living a completely off grid, low impact, sustainable life where I am in tune with the Earth because deep down all I want is to save this beautiful planet.

A lot of the time I just want to runaway and live in a cabin, in complete isolation, and this would be very easy to do on the island, but I am beginning to see that this is only counter productive. Maybe it will help me temporarily, but it won’t make the world a better place. All I would be doing is running away from responsibility, and that is what I have been doing for too long now. I didn’t have to runaway to the forest to isolate myself, I’ve been doing it easily in my concrete cave located in the heart of downtown.

This does not have to be a disadvantage anymore. Being an artist, I can create a way to connect to others that feel the same way, even if it is just subconsciously.

Maybe this doesn’t have anything to do with makeup or my skin, but it is indeed an act of liberation. Most of these post have been great releases and as much as I had hoped to inspire others I needed to prove it to myself that I am capable of seeing a challenge through to the end. There is only 3 days left of not wearing makeup and I look forward to whatever next month has in store.

Much Love

Is veganism bad for my hair? (Day 26 of 31)

 It is time for a haircut. Today I had a lazy day to myself doing basically nothing but eating and watching hours of anime. I have been really making an effort to only shampoo my hair every other day, but its definitely not easy for me. I am getting to the point with my hair that it is just a mop on my head without any style and I believe my last hair cut was now five months ago. SO it’s well overdue. It felt really good to cut it short last year and I’ve been wanting to grow it out because I missed my long hair, but I don’t really know if I have what it takes to take care of long hair anymore.

I tried to use the dry shampoo today before I took a photo of myself, but my head just itches a lot now and I pulled it back and took it down and pulled it back again.

Ahhhhhhh it drives me crazy!!!

The creases in my forehead are really annoying me today too. It’s just one of those days where I just want to crawl out of my skin. That probably doesn’t seem very positive at all, but I think that I should be honest and acknowledge these feelings. The sun doesn’t shine out of my you know what.

So tomorrow I will be going to get a hair cut and I will decide just how much I’ll be taking off when I get there. Usually I would get my brows dyed and waxed as well, but I think that would be going against the challenge as it is an unnatural way of making myself feel better about my appearance.

It’s been about two years now since I last dyed my hair and since then, it has completely grown out and much darker than ever before. I was born with white hair and because I grew up in the desert it stayed that way for the majority of my childhood before easing into a light blonde. It wasn’t until I moved into a much colder climate that I lost the colour in my skin and the vitamin D in my hair.

The first time I ever dyed my hair, I was in 7th grade and I got highlights and a new part, which I’ve basically stuck with since than. Now that I’ve compulsively scratched my head and finger combed my hair I have thinner spots on my head than others. I think I will discuss this with my hairdresser and we can aim for something different. It’s time for something fresh, it is spring.

If any one knows of any supplements they’ve used or heard about I would definitely be interested in looking into it more.  What I eat really ties into the health of my hair and skin and nails. Although I’ve always had thin hair and thin nails and oily skin, being a vegan means I have to eat a lot more food in order to get the amounts of vitamins and minerals my body needs to maintain overall health.

There are many different things you can eat as a vegan and it’s just as easy now to get away with eating things besides fruits and vegetables. When I first started being a vegan I wanted to be a raw vegan and I ate an abundant amount of fruit and vegetables, but after feeling like such an oddball and never being able to eat anywhere, I slowly started to lean more on starches like potatoes and rice and eventually I’ve gone back to a majority cooked food lifestyle. Because of this I’ve felt like I’ve been lacking in vitamins and minerals and I am dire need of a salad. Maybe I just need to live somewhere tropical, but yesterday I bought a bunch of fresh ingredients to make green juices in the morning and I have decided that for the month of April I will be doing a 30 day whole food challenge.

 I think that it could really benefit tying these two things together and I will continue to post on this blog as I believe that this too is apart of the Skin Liberation.

hair
Yep

Much Love

Did I fail? (Day 25 of 31)

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Well today is my 25th day not wearing makeup and last night… I broke my streak by rubbing tons of foundation and self tanning lotion all over my body. I told myself it wasn’t that bad because I wasn’t putting it on my face, but when I woke up I was so relieved it was just a dream. Gottcha ya.

For the past few days now I feel like I have gone back to the first week of this challenge and I feel myself picking and prodding at the skin on my face. I am now debating whether or not I should carry out this challenge for an extra week to make up for the week without any post. Not only did I fail to post some thoughts and photos from each day, but I have noticed myself taking more photos to find a decent one that I am pleased with. It could be that for the first half of this challenge I didn’t have to deal with many breakouts and now that my skin has undergone some weird rashes, peeling, and breakouts I am actually having to face this challenge head on.

 When I began this journey I wanted to be completely honest throughout, but I feel I have failed to truly accept my flaws. I really did not want to pick at my skin and yet I mindlessly went to town on my face. I do not want this challenge to end and to end up resorting back to make up again to feel comfortable in my skin. I truly love my skin and I am sorry for abusing it.

 Maybe this seems like a bit of a melodramatic post, but I am committed to overcoming these habitual thoughts and reactions I have when closely observing my pores.

A couple years ago I picked a pimple located in between my brows too the point of eventual scarring and the huge crater I had dug in my face made me feel miserable. I was so angry at myself for letting it go so far and I looked up different ways to fix it on the internet for weeks. I tried scrubbing it down and lightening it up with natural remedies, but nothing worked and it is still there. In fact that crater lead me to my first real wrinkle.

I have always been a person to scowl as I ponder, and to make matters worse I have always been someone to ponder since I was a child. It’s not like I am doing it intentionally, but it is just a part of who I am. These features we adapt are all apart of life and one day I will be nothing BUT a face of deepened lines.

The truth is that as we get older we only get better at being who we are and what we have tried to hid for so long inevitably engraves itself into our flesh for the world to see. So if you were someone to scowl often then surely the lines will speak for you between your brows; just as if you were one to smile often then the lines between your cheeks and lips will speak for you. It is not a bad thing whatsoever it’s just apart of becoming who you were always meant to be.

Sure it is easy to say these things, and I do believe them, but to live them day by day is the challenge I am trying to overcome. Just writing this makes me feel better now, but I want to push myself to really accept these changes in myself.

No matter how much make up I wear, or moisturizers I use, or how healthy I am, I will never been in control of the changes my body will undergo and that is what I need to let go of most. WE cannot control our image the way we wish too.

For many people they will go through extreme measures to try and maintain this control over their own bodies. They will cut themselves up to be skinnier, or to have bigger breast, or to have bigger eyes, or they will inject themselves with different serums to have bigger butts, bigger lips, or repeatedly inject their faces to try to hide the fact that life  happens.

So what is making it so hard to realize that change is inevitable? Why is it so hard to let go of the control we all wish to have over our appearance? I’m not saying that we should all let ourselves go and not give a shit about our bodies, I’m just trying to state the point that no matter what efforts we make we cannot control the effects of time and we cannot control the natural cycle of life. Our bodies, especially those of woman, were made to change many times throughout a lifespan. So why do these changes become flaws, when in reality they are validations of our perfection?

More to come on this later. Please leave any thoughts, reflections, or reactions, if you wish to do so. 

Much Love

Day 24 of 31

 It’s the last week of the 31 day skin liberation challenge and I feel like I have grown a lot this month. So far I have overcome the fear of leaving the door without makeup on, I have stopped the habit of checking myself in the mirror before going out, I have found my voice and spoken up for my beliefs, I have quit my job and took the reins of my life back, I have inspired others to go more natural, I have let go of vast majority of my skin products, and I have learned a lot more on just how much of an effort it takes to love and care for my skin.

I am disappointed that I was unable to post for a week straight and therefore lost a lot of the momentum I had gained, but I don’t plan on stopping here. I have grown to understand that challenging myself doesn’t have to be a one time only event. Instead I plan to continue to challenge myself and maybe my focus will go to other areas of my life, but the lessons I learn will stay with me forever.

If there is someone who has followed my journey so far and maybe contemplated the idea of trying this out for themselves, DO IT. You won’t regret it. Sure it may seem hard at first, but it is so freeing to be yourself without any apologies. You are stuck with you for the rest of your life, so why not accept all that you are? Fear is just an obstacle waiting for you to overcome it. So what are you afraid of?

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Day 23 of 31

 Well my skin is really bothering me today. Throughout this challenge I have done my best to not pick at my skin, but today I went at it. Upon waking my entire chin and lower lip was peeling and flaking off. I have some breakouts along that area now, as well as my forehead. I took a shower and scrub my skin with a soft loofa and lots of soap. Then I used a toner and this time it really burnt my skin. Then I tried putting moisturizer on which also hurt at first. Blegh. I’ve never really been able to rid my pores of black heads from my nose, and if anyone has any tips or ticks as to how I could get those puppies gone for good that’d be great.

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So today I am feeling pretty blah. I still don’t want to wear make up, but my eyebrows have grown out and are starting to return to their natural translucent state. I’m starting to notice myself thinking about what it will feel like to wear make up again and I really don’t want to use foundation as much I just want to have eyebrows and eyelashes that aren’t invisible.

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This morning I ripped out all my makeup from my bathroom drawers and it is ridiculous how much I actually have. So today I am spring cleaning and letting go of all these old products I no longer use nor need. I will be keeping my all natural all vegan cruelty free products, but thats it. I don’t want to put chemicals on my skin ever again. Once I have cleaned out my shelves, and lightened my load, I would like to create my own all natural skin products.

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Almond, Oatmeal, Flaxseed, Coconut oil Face Scrub

I love my skin, I love my skin, I love my skin…

 

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How my skin feels

Much Love