I wrote this yesterday, but wanted to wait until today to post because I like to reflect on the day as a whole instead of just stating the status quo.
Coming down to the finish line! Happy Easter everyone! Today the sun is shining and it is amazing just how much that affects outlook on life. I am very grateful for these sun shiny days waking up to sunshine always sets me in a good mood.
I forgot that it was Easter Sunday so that haircut I spoke of yesterday is to be further delayed. Right now I am enjoying my time with my partner and cooking up some yummy food with japanese sweet potatoes and perfectly ripe avocados, its definitely my favourite go to meal on top of some basmati rice sprinkled with fresh cilantro.
-Later that day-
After breakfast my partner and I went for a long walk around downtown Vancouver. It was so sunny that as I squinted and tried to protect my eyes I cursed myself for not bringing sunglasses. My partner tells me that the sunglasses I currently own are equivalent to what someone would wear after having laser eye surgery, but they feel so good! I love my 10$ solar shields. We went into shoppers to look for some new pairs, but just ended up trying on every pair for laughs.
Following that, we headed to Vancouver’s public library, and after living in this city for five years I can’t believe how I have yet to take advantage of such an amazing resource. Not only is the library full of books beyond comprehension, there is also access to computers where I can use photoshop, download my photographs onto external hard drives, access to wifi, and a beautiful open quiet space with lots of light where I can escape to when the sounds of construction outside of my apartment get to be too much. My partner and I were most interested in seeing the new inspiration lab where there are plenty of sound booths you can record music and videos in, and it really IS inspiring!
We then trekked around for food and ended up walking all the way to a Mexican restaurant where the food was absolutely inedible and we were quite sure we’d get food poisoning if we even tried to finish our meals. La Castilla on Robson and Denman, wouldn’t recommend it. They did give us half our money back so that was nice.
We got home safely without any mishaps and luckily we didn’t end up getting as ill as we expected.
SO yesterday I learned that I really need to get out and take advantage of the resources available in this city. I have been debating whether or not I should move back to the islands because for so long now I have felt out of place, but I think I was quick to judge the people around me. The truth is I just haven’t put in the effort every day to make it work for me. Instead I have just been isolating myself from the rest of the world. Now it’s time for me to give it all I’ve got and until I can say 100% I gave it my all, I can’t just give up and move away.
Sure this isn’t the environment I am meant to be in for the rest of my life. I am after all “Nature girl”. I dream about waking up in the morning and being able to step outside onto the grass and having morning walks in the forest. I dream of being able to have a dog that I can take hiking with me and on adventures. I dream of working with horses the way I use to. I dream of tending to my garden and eating healthy foods that I’ve created for myself and loved ones. I dream of living a completely off grid, low impact, sustainable life where I am in tune with the Earth because deep down all I want is to save this beautiful planet.
A lot of the time I just want to runaway and live in a cabin, in complete isolation, and this would be very easy to do on the island, but I am beginning to see that this is only counter productive. Maybe it will help me temporarily, but it won’t make the world a better place. All I would be doing is running away from responsibility, and that is what I have been doing for too long now. I didn’t have to runaway to the forest to isolate myself, I’ve been doing it easily in my concrete cave located in the heart of downtown.
This does not have to be a disadvantage anymore. Being an artist, I can create a way to connect to others that feel the same way, even if it is just subconsciously.
Maybe this doesn’t have anything to do with makeup or my skin, but it is indeed an act of liberation. Most of these post have been great releases and as much as I had hoped to inspire others I needed to prove it to myself that I am capable of seeing a challenge through to the end. There is only 3 days left of not wearing makeup and I look forward to whatever next month has in store.