Day 2 and 3 of 31

   Last month’s challenge was about not doing something to break unhealthy habit for the skin of faces. Whereas this month is about doing things to develop healthy habits for the skin of our bodies. I refer to skin because I believe the way we look at our external selves, really does effect us internally within our physical, emotional, and energetic bodies.

There is much more there to take care of than the skin, but by liberating ourselves from our perspective on our physical appearance we can clear emotional blockages and give ourselves more energy by letting go of the amount of energy we use against ourselves!!!

I’m happy to have found the words for the meaning of the skin liberation, because it has taken me the past couple days to really think about what it is I am trying to accomplish here.  

I have noticed a huge difference in my take to make up since I have finished. On day 2 I decided that I would put some vegan mascara on, along with filing out my brows and then I dabbed on the smallest amount of foundation, around a quarter of a dime size. It was strange seeing myself with it on again and this time I didn’t think I looked much different with it than I do without it.

 I decided to wear a dress I have yet to wear out in public because of its plunging neck line and shorter length. It’s a beautiful dress though and it felt good to actually dress up for a change. 

The other day I was meeting up with my partner for dinner and he almost missed me on the street because apparently I closely resembled an old lady. I was wearing my huge blind person sunglasses, a simple windbreaker and some loose blue jeans with my hiking boots and I was walking very slowly. Anyways I felt it was time to actually put an effort into the clothing I was wearing.

When I was younger, in middle school, I tried dressing up everyday because I thought that it would get me more friends and make me popular, but instead everyone called me chicken legs and I was too shy and introverted to ever really fit in.

In high school I began to resent the effort made to impress others and I stopped trying. Instead I began to wear hoodies and jeans and that soon turned into an all black wardrobe with many metal band t-shirts and converse high tops.

When I went to Japan for a two week exchange program it was the first time I had been exposed to so many eating disorders coupled with high fashion at the same time. I got back 5 lbs lighter than I had left and really began my descent into the dieting world while also  wanting to appear more fashionable.

There is so much to go into on this journey that it will be my goal to be as organized with my story telling as possible. Today I will focus on clothing and later I will go into dieting and weightloss.

The last year of school I faded away from my rebel days, and I started to really enjoy dressing up again, mostly because I now had a boyfriend I was trying to impress. But it wasn’t until much later that I did it for myself.

After going to uni and working in the restaurant industry I discovered how much I really despised dressing up for other people. I had to wear short dresses, 1 inch minimum heels, and a friend told me I could stand to lose a few pounds. Now vast majority of the dresses I own are little black dresses that remind me of the days I was pretending to be something I am not.

Since then, I have experienced great releases in small burst that have given me inspiration to accept my body more and more.

 

SO I wore my little burgundy dress with its deep V and pixie length bottom and went walking around the city with my partner. And although I was a bit self conscious at times I enjoyed feeling light and airy in my new dress. It felt good to get some vitamin D in places I haven’t since the last summers season.

I wish to eat as healthy as possible this month but not in an effort to lose pounds or shape up, I simply want to feel good about whats happening inside of me to provide the best fuel for my engine.For lunch we went to a great Japanese restaurant I have to to try before, and enjoyed some healthy organic ingredient brown rice sushi. I also had some braised lotus root with carrots and it was amazing.

At the end of the day I took a nice long hot bath and I enjoyed walking around in my apartment alone with the blind closed, in the nude.

It’s strange because last summer I had my first experiences overcoming my egotistical perspective of how I wish to be seen by foregoing any type of clothing at every nude beach and secluded lake possible. I was surprised at how almost right away it brought me back to being a little girl. It wasn’t in the slightest way sexual and all my precognitive feelings towards nudity vanished.

The times I have spent on the island have helped me feel comfortable enough to release my inhibitions because I never felt like I would be judged by others for my choices. During the time I spent living on the Rock I bought a beautiful vintage dress from a local thrift shop and yesterday I decided to wear it again.

In it I feel like a summer goddess and I enjoy its length and body, as well as additional pockets. Wearing it out and about I feel like I am bringing the love and good vibes from the island life.

 

I walked around a bit and then I came back to my apartment and hula hooped  and danced around in my living room. Then I spent the rest of the day eating big salads with vegan fish filets and chicken tenders and working on a beautiful rainbow dreamcatcher I am making for a young boy’s birthday that my dear friend of mine looks after.

I then cozied up in bed and slept in the nude. If you don’t sleep in the nude, I would highly recommend trying it out, as well as spending the first and last hour of the day bare. I like to wrap a big sarong on, or pieces of fabric, or blankets, and play dress up! It’s a great practice for bodily embrace and it also is good to let your skin breathe!

Today I am aiming to make it to the pool for a leisurely swim, but you’ll have to find out tomorrow if I make it there!

Much Love

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