Does this make me a feminist? DAY 31 of 31

I did it! I have successfully not worn make up for the entire month of March! When I first began this challenge I hadn’t the slightest clue just how much my life would change. For some reason I just woke up that day and thought to myself, I’m tired of feeling the need to wear this everyday and decided not to. Upon the second day, I decided to document my experience, so maybe I could inspire others to tell them they don’t have to either. TO my surprise I’ve had a total of 667 views from 271 visitors in the course of 31 days. I am so grateful to everyone that has read my words and reached out to tell me how they have enjoyed these posts and my act of bravery.

The first few days were the hardest to overcome the habit of checking myself in the mirror to make sure my face looked well enough for a public appearance.

The first week I felt like I was naked and I felt very vulnerable.

The second week I stopped checking myself before leaving the door and I had the most epiphanies hit me during this time. I learned that it wasn’t solely because we are living in a Patriarchal dark age that women have had to exploit themselves in order to be seen as well put, no instead I learned that within a patriarchal society, women have created a mindset that all women must act like a man in order to be taken seriously. This means appearing flawlessly, emotionlessly, and thickening our naturally soft skin. I also learned that it isn’t men who are putting most of the pressure on women, although they aren’t completely innocent of it either, the vast majority of pressure is coming from other women who have grown to believe that this mindset is what will help you get further in life. The thing is that no matter how far it gets a women, closing ones heart and hiding ones inherent tenderness only damages us more .

I am not sure if I ever understood feminism properly. I know that there are some seriously wrong connotations to the word. Many think of feminist as bra burning women that hate men, but it is actually a movement within many movements towards equal rights for every gender, race, and sexuality. I’ve just always had a problem with the literal word Feminism deriving from Feminine. I am not trying to say I don’t agree with many self proclaimed Feminist, but there are many tactics that don’t seem to be moving us human beings in the right way. It isn’t the intention that is stopping us, it’s the judgement of others. So many great women of our time are overly compensating their fragility with straight aggression. Women are rejecting their emotions because they don’t understand how to use them to their advantage. Women aren’t embracing their true selves anymore because it has become too confusing in a world where we are aesthetically bombarded with this built up image of what a women should be seen as. The worst part about all of this I have learned, is that women truly believe this idea and look down on other women who don’t meet the standard issue.

This may be controversial but I have to say it. Women and Men are not equal and we never will be. Why is that? Well we are both wired differently. Now there are definitely many exceptions to this rule that are being seen now more than ever. Some women are born and they are wired like a man and some men are born and they are wired like a women. Some women have more Yang and some men more Yin. My point here is we are not meant to behave like we are wired in ways that we are not. If you feel like you have to bury your feelings deep down because all the men at work will treat you differently, well then you are only hindering our progress out of patriarchy.

I  know this could be a hot topic for discussion and I do have much more to say about it, but to finish off; Week 2 I walked out of my job, because I learned that if people aren’t going to respect me, Im not going to change myself to try and earn that respect.

On the third week I had a surge of empowering energy and I went to Nevada for nine days to soak in more vitamin D then I had taken in for a long time. I also experienced how to love my skin while breaking out in heat rashes and overcoming mild discomfort from a crackling chin.

Week 4 I had my ups and downs after getting back from sunshine into rainy days again and breaking out more than usual. I still managed to get out and about without being totally aware of my facial nudity.

Week 5 the sun came back and I have had time to sit back and enjoy the blissfulness of little worries. I’ve released a lot of negativity and realized that I am going to stay here in this city for awhile longer. I’m not afraid of going out without makeup on anymore and I’ve liberated myself from many mindsets that have held me back from participation.

I truly hope that someone who has read about my journey will find it in themselves to release their skin from habitual coverage and embark on this wonderful path towards liberation.

Much Love

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I Am Sensitive (Day 11 of 31)

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Good Morning

I am running behind this morning and off to work for the day, but I would like to post something quickly before I go. It has come to my attention as of yesterday that I am an overtly emotional person, or so I am told. So as of lately I have been contemplating what it means to be emotional and even more so if one really needs to apologize for “wearing your emotions”.

This is definitely not something I haven’t been told before, and it isn’t the first time I’ve had to apologize for being a sensitive being, but it is part of who I am, so why must I apologize for being me?

As an artist, and I am sure many can relate to this, we use our emotions and harness their powers to create deeply meaningful pieces of work. My emotions are my tools and I rely on them often. I use my emotions to connect to the world around me. I use my emotions to relate to the people that feel the same way I do and if I am told to “leave your emotions at home” then I can’t help but shut down and go into a very robotic state.

As women this is a battle we are constantly fighting. We are told to grow a thicker skin, to not let them see you cry, we are told to apologize for being emotional. When I think of how this project directly relates to the state of the Earth, I see how women are all directly related to Earth’s body because we are soft, we are fertile, and we are tender. We shouldn’t be chastised for having a storm, for shedding a tears, or for being fragile. There is great strength in these traits and it is not fair for us to continuously be told we must bury them deep down inside of our depths of being.

Maybe my mild face nudity has something to do with my increased sensitivity, but I will not apologize for being a sensitive person, only for not being clear that I am that I am.

♥

Much Love

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Kill’n it with Kindness

“You don’t have to be pretty. You don’t owe prettiness to anyone. Not to your boyfriend/spouse/partner, not to your co-workers, especially not to random men on the street. You don’t owe it to your mother, you don’t owe it to your children, you don’t owe it to civilization in general. Prettiness is not a rent you pay for occupying a space marked “female.” -Diana Vreeland  

I want to first thank everyone who went out of there way to message me yesterday when I really needed some support. I also appreciate all the hair care advice I can get. If there are any tips and tricks you know about how to take care of thin hair, what types of brushes I should purchase, any do it yourself products I could try out, I really could use it. Right now I am specifically looking for an exfoliator and cleanser to use, and a new brush.

Today is my 11th day not wearing make up, but I would rather talk about it after I have had time to reflect over the day as a whole. Because I spoke about yesterday already I would like to reflect a bit more on the harshness that has come my way.

It is the greatest tragedy when women gang up on other women and I am definitely not exempted from this by any means. When I was younger and in my first real relationship I often felt threatened by other women and would thereby talk smack about them behind their backs. I am sorry for ever judging these creatures because in reality we all have so much in common. We just need to know that in understanding ourselves we understand all women. When I was mad at my mother for not understanding what I was going through I would get angry at her because she didn’t know how to help me. I wanted her to read me, I expected her to just know.

Maybe it’s because we have been cultured as females to speak through our appearances and we don’t want anyone to read our minds we want them to read our faces! And most of us really do speak just as much through our bodies, if not more so than our voice. I feel like I have lost my voice, and now as I am giving up my face and seeing how people react to my silent protest, I am starting to discover what I really need to say.

Yesterday was not pleasant and I have never been so offended, but I do not need to hurt anyone to feel better about myself. Instead I feel empowered by this discourse to rise up as the compassionate being I truly am. Everyone has to go through some suffering to find wisdom. Through this I have found my voice. I have forgiven them for hurting me, just as I have forgiven everyone in the past and every single time I let go of the sting I feel lighter and stronger than before.

So let me say this. Pain is nothing to be fearful of, when you hold it in your heart it will hurt, but when you can find it in yourself to forgive, you set that pain free from you and the source. So as much as it doesn’t feel good to go through, it is your task to act as a filter. I know now that I have not only  healed myself, but I have also healed a part of the women that inflicted this upon me, and for this I am thankful.

Much Love

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Why is this so hard? (Day 9 and 10 of 31)

Today I really discovered exactly what is making this a difficult challenge and the answer may come as a bit of surprise to you. The reason why it is so hard to be in this world as a women that does not want to worry about their appearance, is not because of men, it is because of other women. So far the only remarks from any male on my decision to not wear makeup has been a positive and mostly agreement that women shouldn’t have to wear it, or the man likes a women better without it. Whereas the comments and criticisms of other women have been far less positive and this doesn’t just have to do with wearing makeup! Women are other women’s harshest critics, besides their own selves.

More on this topic to come…

Today is my 10th day liberating my skin and I feel that the freedom I am finding is much deeper than on the surface.

It all started yesterday when I spoke to another women about hair care and the condition of my scalp. I have a few bad habits like compulsively scratching the top of my head and I picked at a bump once and it turned into a scar permanently leaving me with a big bump that kinda gives me the heeby jeebies (getting that checked). I have also fallen into an unhealthy habit of washing my hair everyday because I have such thin hair it tends to get greasy the next day. So her and I examined my scalp, and this other women advised me to wash my hair every other day maximum. Ok thanks I will.

The following day, today I go to work with un-shampooed hair ,and even though I showered, sure enough my hair is so greasy I have to pull it back into a ponytail. * I do own some dry shampoo, but I only own one tiny plastic comb, and my applying abilities are somewhat limited. I will be experimenting more with natural hair and skin care routines, because I am honestly as novice as it gets.*

So I am feeling a little uncomfortable, and I apologize for the extra detail, but I am cramping up like nobody’s business. I feel like shit. I let my coworkers know in advance heads up I am not feeling on my A game today so no picking on me today please. But instead the same person who was my friend yesterday continuously called me “Stinky” whilst making remarks like “whats that smell, oh its her”. When I went to the bathroom I could hear them talking about me and my hair. I did not react well to that. I decided to put my head down and grumpily carry out mundane tasks like restocking things, reorganizing books, polishing jewelry, and cleaning the glass. My mood at this point has dropped to an extreme low and I am no longer feeling like I want to be there. Just as I was hoping to pull this women aside and tell her that what she says hurts my feelings, she abruptly asks me if there is something wrong. I calmly say Well yeah I am feeling like you pick on me more when other people are around and what you say hurts my feelings. She escalates into a fury and tells me that she acts the same when others are around and that I am just being overtly sensitive “because its that time of the month”.

She orders me to leave at once and to go calm down. I grabbed my things and left at once. This is also the same women who’s response to my excitement about not wearing makeup asked me “why would you want to be ugly?”

Which brings me to my point. Ugliness comes from the inside and no matter how greasy, or zit faced, or baggy eyed, or flawed you may be that in no right means that you are ugly. Ugliness is not in our nature, but we are indeed capable to being ugly.

The most perfectly proportional face can be the ugliest face on earth if its lips only release atrocities.

Please ladies stop judging each other, because when we can see the beauty in one another we become humbly empowered. 

Much Love

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Why 31 days?

 

  What if I told you that there was going to be a very fanciful ball, and everyone will be dressing in their absolute best attire, and you are required to attend? Do you think you could confidently arrive wearing nothing but a pair of jeans and a t-shirt? No make up or manicure?  You would most likely want to dress up yourself, but that is not just it. If you are a women, you will have to find the right shoes and matching accessories, a manicure and pedicure, proper perfume, and while your at it why not hire someone to do your hair and of course your make up must be flawless. Then you will feel like you are at your best because you use these tools as temporary confidence boosters.

This scenario may not be an everyday reality, but for many young girls, and women of all ages, this is how it feels to leave to go to school, to go to the homecoming dance, or the prom, or their first job interview, or their wedding, or their best friends wedding, or to the club, or to the mall, or to work, basically any and every event where we have to ask ourselves how we will appear.

To really get down to the point of this though…I am doing this not only for myself, but for the girl I once was and all the girls out there that have felt the same way that girl did and this girl does. I don’t want to check myself in the mirror every time I’m about to open the door to leave.

 I started this on March 1st and decided that in order for this to have a real impact on me and the people following my journey, then it will need to be the entire month of March. It is also well known that if one is able to carry the same routine for a minimum of 28 days then it will likely become a regular habit. So why not make wearing no make up, telling your skin you love it (even on the bad days), and telling yourself you are beautiful and “i love you” a routine that will carry on into the months to follow?

I know it seems scary and believe me I am still feeling uneasy. In the middle of the month I will be going to Vegas for over a week to have a family celebration and I already know I will be one of the few without an ounce of coverup, but hey at least that means I don’t have to worry about packing in the products!

If I can inspire one other person to do this 31 day challenge, or a 7 day challenge, or even a one day challenge then TheSkinLiberation has succeeded

So who will it be?

Thank you for reading this post, your comments and support are greatly appreciated.

[A photo that captures what I really felt like doing today]

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